College Searches

Recently I decided to attempt attending college again. With a renewed vigor, I began searching for my field of choice. I decided I wanted to be a sonographer when I grow up. Keep in mind, I am a 25 year old stay at home mom and Army wife. With this being said, my options are limited. For example, we are on a PCS move in June of this year to Ft Meade, Maryland and therefore do not have the entire United States available to me. I currently reside in Texas. The options the "school search engines" provide correlate only with your current address. Being proficient with Google and knowing my way around the web had already allowed me to look at the schools available in my future area. So, thinking the "agency" may know of options I may not have access to, I record my phone number in the allotted space. 8:30 am, the phone rings with an unknown area code and wakes my 8 month old son up. Awesome. Next comes the stupid questions you already answered on the internet. "You were interested in going back to school, is that correct?" No...I accidentally searched for sonography information AND filled out your entire form (including my phone number) to use you as an alarm clock. Then they open up with "If I could just have a few minutes of your time to get some information here...." Sure! Just ignore that screaming baby in the background- he'll wait...he's just a little fussy because he doesn't enjoy being woken up. Idiot. Just be a person for God's sake. Say "perhaps it would be better to contact you at a later time?"

After all of the idiotic script is read and confirmed, they would like to know which TX school I would be interested in. I calmly relay my information as best as possible while trying to feed my son and set him up for morning play. They say "oh- you don't have an ACTUAL Maryland address?" No....I thought I JUST said that. "Well I could give you information on schools in your local area." WHAT FUCKING GOOD IS THAT GOING TO DO ME!!! I can take a drive and see what colleges are in my area. What about those 18 year old high school graduates that would like to NOT live at their parents house while they attend college? There is no program that allows you to search the United States? Why isn't it a requirement to shop for schools like you shop for shoes. I want to know that it will fit perfectly with what I am looking for---I would like it to be affordable---I would like it in the shortest amount of time possible--- AND I want you to have any and all documents available I may need to attend said college. THAT would be helpful.

The final questions are the ones I love the most : "Would you perhaps be interested in any other field until this one becomes available?"

Why don't you just ask me if I would like to spend a pointless $2,000- 10,000....for information I will have no need for WITH my main area of study. Why don't you just be frank and say "Would you like to waste money and time on something you didn't even fucking ask about?" Do you want to know why you don't ask that question? Because it is fucking pointless and you would want to slap yourself in the face for being so damn stupid. Of course I don't.

And the final sucker punch : "Is there anything else I can help you with today?" Excuse me?? I was unaware you helped me to begin with. Was there one single thing you did to make my life easier? What can you do for me that would be helpful? Tell your supervisior they need to re-write their SOP (standard operating procedure) to include a program that will inform a prospective student of ANY financial assistance available, at ANY institution, at ANY address.

Just another FYI: Even if you are looking in a different area code...they should still be able to send the information to the CURRENT address. When I move, I will transfer my address. Your mail will get to me, I promise.